The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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