Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
