I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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