If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize