somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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