just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We named our party play list daddy issues
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize