Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
