If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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