as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
