You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
