bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
