My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
