OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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