I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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