I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
