stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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