Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
