just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
