So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
