he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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