I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
