Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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