found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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