I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
