Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
