I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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