the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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