he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize