I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
