I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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