This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
