He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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