in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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