We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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