Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
