Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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