Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
