Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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