You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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