I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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