wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
