its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
