I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
