A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
