She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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