I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
