Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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