I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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