so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
