I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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