i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
