last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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