Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
