the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
