you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
