went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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