she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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