We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're like the curious george of whores
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
