lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
