that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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