I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize