your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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