It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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