Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
