i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
